As I contemplated writing this piece, I was undecided about
whether or not I wanted to write solely about choice or about forgiveness.
However, as you can read from the title, I simply decided to write about choice.
I mean forgiveness after all is an action performed as a result of choosing to
do so in the first place. So with that said, as the saying goes… Everything in
life is about choices. But to be fair, I do consider myself to be a positive
realist and although I understand that the term may be somewhat of a
contradiction, considering the fact that at times what is real isn‘t always so
positive, please keep in mind that the name of this blog is Enigmatic
Perspective.
Now…
I am certainly aware, by firsthand experience, that oftentimes in life we
find ourselves in situations that seem to be out of our control. Someone else
does something crazy, stupid, heartless, or totally insensitive and then leaves
some innocent bystander to deal with the effects, responsibilities, and
consequences after being completely blindsided.
But….
Does the innocent bystander HAVE to be so helpless?
I say, ABSOLUTELY NOT!
I say that the innocent bystander has something very special given to him
through grace and mercy.
The innocent bystander has a “Get Out of Jail Free” card! It’s better than a
magic bean or a glass slipper from any of your favorite fairy tales!
The innocent bystander has something called CHOICE!
I like to call choice the “Get Out of Jail Free” card because just like the
card in the game of Monopoly, it gives you the option to stay in a situation,
make an effort to attempt to change a situation, or to exit a situation totally.
Now the choice you have in every situation will no doubt be different and the
choices may even be difficult. Sometimes they are very difficult. But, still the
option to choose will always be present, looming in the background, awaiting
your consideration of its offerings.
One must understand however, that with choice there’s a catch, and that catch
is responsibility. So many people view responsibility as a burden or a negative
consequence. Yet despite its negative connotation, responsibility doesn’t denote
positivity or negativity, it is simply accountability. We are all accountable
for so many things in life, but could it be that being accountable to ourselves
is the most difficult? Thus, in the moment of indecision, distressing, or
unfortunate circumstances, it can feel so much easier to give up our choices,
forego responsibility, and gather any and all sympathy we can gain from others
through maintaining an image of innocence and helplessness.
Yet, what we fail to realize is that there is danger in taking this
innocent helpless position. In my own personal life, after experiencing a
certain bad situation repetitively, over and over again, there were so many
times that I played the hapless, helpless, innocent damsel in distress role. I
had been lied to, cast aside, betrayed, misunderstood, etc., etc. It felt good
momentarily to cry on the shoulders of my confidants, overanalyzing each and
every situation only to find myself back in the same situation again. And again.
And again. And again….
But after much prayer and frankly just becoming tired of repeating the same
failure, I had a revelation, and I realized that not only was my act of playing
hapless, hopeless, and innocent not getting me anywhere but it was keeping me in
the same unfortunate mess of circumstances that I wanted so badly to be out of!
It was as if scales had fallen off of my eyes! And once I was ready to take
responsibility, I could make better choices, different choices, and no longer
did I have to stay in a depressing rut of crying about what was happening to me.
That revelation gave me so much more control over my life. And that was control
I didn’t want anyone else to have!
Sadly, for a lot of people, it isn’t until they have gotten tired of going
around and around on the hamster wheel of unlucky bad breaks and misfortunes
that they realize it’s time to take a leap of faith and make a choice that will
help to effect change, even if it hurts, even when it’s so very hard to do, and
most of all, when it seems impossible to do!
So... ask yourself.
What is it that you are foregoing your choice on today?
Are you giving up your choice of getting out of a bad relationship because
you don’t feel confident that you’ll find anyone better or that you’ll be
alone?
Take a leap, free yourself, make the choice.
Are you giving up your choice to forgive someone who has hurt you because you
don’t think they deserve it or that it’s fair?
Take a leap, free yourself, make the choice.
Are you stuck in a rat race of a boring, unfulfilling, dead end job wishing
you could do something different or start a business of your own but you’re too
worried about what others may think or afraid that you can’t cut it?
Take a leap, free yourself, make the choice.
No matter what situation you may be facing, as human beings we have been
given free will, the gift of choice from God.
Consider your options, make your choice, use it, grab hold of the authority
that you were meant to have over your life. God gave you that. Jesus gave you
that.
Take a leap, free yourself, make A CHOICE!
AND MAKE IT A GOOD ONE!
A.L. HEARN